SIGNS YOU MAY HAVE A CODEPENDENT PARENT

The Fine Line Between Caring and Codependence

The first thing that comes to mind when we hear the term “codependent” is usually an abusive boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. However, this is not always the case. Believe it or not, most codependent relationships are between a parent and child, not romantic partners. In a codependent parent-child relationship, the lines between protective and obsessive, engaged and over-involved are often blurred beyond recognition. The caregiver/care-receiver nature of a parent-child relationship makes codependency particularly difficult to detect.

Here are a few signs to help you figure out whether your parent-child relationship is codependent.

1. The Codependent Parent Has a Victim Mentality

We all face obstacles in life, but the codependent parent believes that the other people in their life, particularly their children, owe them penance for the wrongs committed against them. Often this manifests in guilt-tripping behavior intended to garner sympathy from the child for negative experiences the parent has been through, with the end goal of altering the child’s behavior in a way that will somehow set things right.

This is where the problems begin. Rather than dealing with the traumas and difficulties in their own life through healthy means such as self-reflection and therapy, the codependent parent latches onto a child and demands compensation.

Compensation can take many forms. Many times a codependent parent will live vicariously through a child. For example, a mother who got pregnant in her teen years may demand repayment of the burden she faced by putting expectations on her daughter to seize advantages in life that she missed out on. A codependent father may demand that his son excel in sports to make up for his own lack of athleticism in childhood. If the child shows signs of taking their own path in life, the parent will use guilt to manipulate them into compliance.

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Rather than dealing with the traumas and difficulties in their own life, the codependent parent latches onto a child and demands compensation.

2. The Codependent Parent Is Never Wrong

In normal relationships, one party is right some of the time but never all of the time. In a codependent parent-child relationship, the parent is always right. Even when the child is an adult, the parent will refuse to approach an argument or even a simple discussion with openness to the possibility of being wrong. Instead, they will seek to impose their own view of the situation and “correct” the adult child, as opposed to engaging in a discussion where neither party is presumed right by default.

So rather than listening to the child's feelings and problems and learning about the child's personality and way of being in the world, every situation becomes a threat to parent's authority.

Even if it becomes apparent that the codependent parent is wrong, they will not apologize—or, if they do, it will come off as forced or insincere. The codependent parent requires absolute dominance over the child, and any admission of wrongdoing on their part would be a sign of weakness and an invitation to challenge their dominance in the relationship.

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In a codependent parent-child relationship, the parent is always right.

3. The Codependent Parent Is Overly Emotional

People sometimes end up crying, yelling, and giving others the silent treatment, but the codependent parent has refined these acts into an art form. When they feel that they are losing control of a situation or the upper hand in an argument, they will resort to crying, screaming, and other acts of intimidation to restore the balance in their favor. If called out on this manipulation tactic, the codependent parent will often accuse the child of being callous or insensitive, or feign ignorance altogether.

If the child cries or expresses hurt or anger, the codependent parent may get unusually angry and claim that the display, no matter how genuine, is insincere and being used to manipulate when, in reality, they are upset that their tactic is being turned around on them.

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The codependent parent has refined crying, yelling, temper tantrums, and silent treatments into an art form.

4. The Codependent Parent Never Listens

Many children of codependent parents complain that speaking with their parent is like “talking to a brick wall.” In fact, one doesn’t speak with a codependent parent as much as to them. No matter how valid the argument, the codependent parent will not be moved in their position. Instead, even when presented with irrefutable facts that would cause a normal person to reconsider and reevaluate their position, the codependent parent will either refute the facts or move onto a different argument without addressing the point being made.

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Speaking with a codependent parent is like “talking to a brick wall.”

5. The Codependent Parent Parrots Words and Phrases

Instead of listening to the child's feelings, a codependent parent will parrot, mirror, or mimic them. If the child claims that the parent is hurting their feelings, for example, the codependent parent will, perhaps seconds or even hours later, return with, “You’re hurting my feelings!” Whatever concern the child expresses, the codependent parent will find a way to turn it around and regurgitate it as their own, thus reversing the defensive and offensive roles in the conversation. If called out on this behavior, the codependent parent will ignore it, become angry, or act bewildered and confused.

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The codependent parent will find a way to appropriate the child's feelings and present them as their own, thus reversing the defensive and offensive roles in the conversation.

6. The Codependent Parent Has Mood Swings

Drastic mood swings can happen over a couple of minutes or a couple of days, but the codependent parent has the ability to rapidly shift from one mood to another. This is especially true when their manipulation tactics have succeeded in garnering the child’s acquiescence. The codependent parent may be yelling and screaming one moment, but once they get their way, they may be exuberant. Conversely, they may sulk in an effort to rebuff any guilt as a result of their power play.

For example, a mother screaming at her son for not calling often enough may eventually get him to give in and promise to call more. Once she attains what she wants, in an effort to keep her victory and her role as the victim, she may say something like, “No, never mind. I don’t want you to call. You’ll just be doing it because you have to.” Then, the son will not only have to call more, but ensure her that this is what he truly wants to do of his own free will, thus absolving her from any responsibility and guilt.

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The codependent parent will rapidly shift from one mood to another in order to avoid responsibility and guilt.

7. The Codependent Parent Must Maintain Control at All Costs

Control is the end goal of all codependent parents. Most codependent parents expect a level of devotion and love from their children that is unhealthy and unnatural, intended to make up for that which they lack in other relationships. Often the codependent parent wishes to garner from their child the love and/or attention they failed to receive from their own parents. This creates a dramatic role reversal of the parent-child relationship and turns it into a vampiric dynamic rather than a mutually beneficial one.

Whatever it is that the codependent parent seeks to gain by controlling the adult child, when it becomes clear that they won’t succeed, a meltdown will often ensue. If the parent controls with guilt by appearing frail and playing the victim card, they may become suddenly venomous and aggressive when the adult child refuses to give them what they want. Conversely, a codependent parent who controls through subtle manipulation and passive-aggression may suddenly become dominant and plainspoken.

It is important to remember that these dramatic shifts in the face of lost control are not a mood swing or an “episode.” Instead, the codependent parent is revealing their true nature as opposed to the façade they must maintain in order to keep things going their way. Once there is no hope of getting their way, this façade will become useless and be easily stripped away.

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Often the codependent parent wishes to garner from their child the love and/or attention they failed to receive from their own parents.

8. The Codependent Parent Manipulates – Subtly

The most effective form of manipulation is the kind that you can never be called out for directly. Examples include the silent treatment, passive aggressive comments, denial of wrongdoing and projection, among others. The codependent parent will leave the child in a state of confusion, wondering who really is “the bad guy.”

Often, the parents will be genuinely unaware of their own manipulation. Many codependent parents truly believe that they are doing what’s in their child’s best interest and execute some of the most unsettling control tactics and manipulative power plays with simultaneous mastery and obliviousness. In fact, when called out on their manipulation with specific examples, the codependent parent will often be genuinely and deeply hurt and bewildered.

In fact, the codependent parent does not usually manipulate because they wantto; they manipulate because they have to. They simply don’t know any other way to communicate with the adult child who is beyond their direct control. Thus, they will manipulate with finances, emotion, guilt, and any other tool at their disposal to maintain the imbalance of the codependent relationship.

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Examples of things codependent parents will use to subtly maintain power:

guilt trips,

the silent treatment,

passive-aggression,

withholding (of money, time, or affection),

denial of wrongdoing,

and projection, among others.

So You Have a Codependent Parent... What Should You Do?

This is not an exhaustive list, but it does cover the basic signs and symptoms of codependency to watch out for. In my experience with my own codependent parent, many of these are hard to recognize but, on closer inspection, they deviate significantly from the norms of a healthy parent-child relationship.

There is no single, quick, or easy way to deal with a codependent parent. It depends on the individuals as well as the severity of the codependency within the relationship. In some cases, the only thing the adult child can do is sever ties with the codependent parent completely. In others, carefully imposed boundaries, discussion, and family therapy can be used to maintain a healthy relationship for both parties.

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Many codependent parents truly believe that they are doing what’s in their child’s best interest.

Source: http://hubpages.com/health/8-Signs-You-May-Have-a-Codependent-Parent

10 DRINKING GAMES FOR TWO PEOPLE

Fun Drinking Games for Two

Everyone loves a good drinking game. Nothing breaks the ice with a new group of people or gets a party started like a round of beer pong - or if you take your drinking games seriously - True American. But drinking games don't just have to be for big groups. In fact, they can be just as fun to play with a good friend, or someone you'd like to get to know better. These games can turn a couple beers with a pal into an evening for the ages.

1) Higher/Lower

Materials: a deck of cards (or the card deck app on a phone)

This game is about as simple as it gets. The "dealer" turns over a card from the top of the deck. The second player then guesses whether the next card will be higher or lower than the turned-over card. If the second player is right, the dealer drinks. If the second player is wrong then he or she drinks.

2) Two Truths and a Lie

Another excellent icebreaker that gets an extra jolt from the addition of alcohol. Here's how it works. The first player makes three statements about themselves. Two of the statements have to be true, while one has to be a lie. The second player then has to guess which is the lie. If the second player guesses correctly, the first player must drink and if incorrectly, the second player has to drink. Then switch. This is a great game either for two people who know each other well or for two people who want to get to know each other better.

3) Power Hour

This one you might feel in the morning. In a power hour, the goal is to drink 60 shots of beer in 60 minutes. That's one shot of beer per minute. Whoever makes it through the entire hour wins — or loses, depending on how bad the morning hangover is. Be careful with this one: it can get you pretty wasted.

4) "Never Have I Ever . . . "

A fun icebreaker that is even better with the addition of alcohol. Here's how it works: the first player starts by saying something that they have never done, for instance, "Never have I ever gone skydiving." (It's traditional to begin your confession with "Never have I ever . . ." but not required.) If the other person HAS gone skydiving then that player has to drink. Then you switch roles. This is a good drinking game for a large party too.

5) Flip Cup

Though most often played in larger groups, this game works just as well with two. Starting at the same time, both players chug a beer from a plastic cup as fast as they can. When finished, place the cup upside down on the edge of the table with the rim hanging out a bit over the edge. Then, try to "flick" the overhanging rim to get the cup to flip right-side up before the other person.

6) Battle Shots

You can purchase an official version of this game, which is super fun to play. But if you don't want to shell out for it, or don't happen to own a copy of the Parker Bros. classic game Battleship, you can you can make up your own game board pretty easily. Trust me, the set-up time is totally worth it. Get ready for a trip down nostalgia lane:

Materials:

• paper
• pencil
• 6 shots

Directions:

Draw a 7x7 grid on a piece of paper, labeling the columns alphabetically and the rows numerically. That way each box has a letter-number designation, e.g. the top left is box A1.

Place your "boats" by marking Xs along the grid: three "X"s for the battleship, two "X"s for the destroyer, and one "X" for the submarine. Each "X" represents one shot.

Take turns guessing where your opponents "battle shots" are. Every time someone "hits" an X, take one shot. You win by sinking all of your opponent's "battle shots." Loser must then drink all the remaining shots.

7) Truth or Dare or Drink

There are a couple ways to play this classic getting-to-know-you game.

Option 1: Just do the “truth” part. Take turns asking personal questions. If the other person doesn't want to answer, they must drink. Awesome for people who know each other well and/or have no shame. Even better if you’re playing with someone you’re interested in.

Option 2: Just do the “dare” part. Do the dare or take the drink. This one gets a lot more fun as the game goes on, since people are more likely to do silly dares when they're drunk!

8) Quarters

Materials: Quarters, Cups.

One player tries to bounce a quarter off the table into a cup or shot glass. If the shooter makes it, the other player must drink and the shooter gets another turn. If the shooter misses, it’s the other players turn to shoot. This is probably the best drinking game for 2 people because it's a skill game, and you definitely want to practice one-on-one before playing it at a party.

9) "I'm Going on a Picnic . . ."

This is a memory game. Go through the alphabet naming things you'd bring on a picnic, adding 1 more item per turn.

Person A: I'm going on a picnic and I'm bringing Apples.

Person B: I'm going on a picnic and I'm bringing Apples and Bananas.

Person A: I'm going on a picnic and I'm bringing Apples, Bananas, and Carrots.

I think you catch the drift. Drink every time someone makes a mistake. This game gets more hilarious both the drunker and the farther down the alphabet you get. Very likely you’ll get sidetracked by arguments about why anyone would need to bring a xylophone to a picnic.

10) Caps

This one can be played with either two or four people.

The basic rules go like this: each player sits facing the other at opposite ends of a room. Next to each player is a cup full of beer. Each player takes turns trying to throw a bottle cap into the other player’s cup. If one makes it, then the player that was scored on has to chug the cup of beer. What else are you going to do with those old bottle caps?

Source: http://hubpages.com/games-hobbies/10-Drinking-Games-for-2-People

THE UNSEEN CAUSES FOR ITCHY SKIN?

There Are Numberous Reasons for Itchy Skin

Most of us have experienced itchy skin at some point. For the most part, it occurs in a localised area caused by a small insect bite or other minor irritant. However, persistent and widespread feelings of itching could be a symptom of a serious underlying condition.

What Exactly Is an Itch?

Itching—the medical term is pruritus—starts when an external stimulus alerts your body that some form of defence might be required. The stimulus could be anything from a tiny fibre to a bug, and it sets off a rapid response. In other words, itching results from one of your body's protective features. When something lands on your skin, there might not be an immediate reaction but as the stimulant brushes across your skin, receptors in the dermis of the skin become activated and respond. The split second reaction is in the form of a nerve impulse that goes from the skin receptors to the cerebral cortex in the brain, and a signal is sent back to cause an itch that we then scratch. The receptors involved in the itch response are the same as those involved in pain responses. Therefore, an itch can be viewed as being in a similar category as that of pain.

However, with some illnesses that may be present, other irritants within the body can cause skin to feel itchy. Mostly, these are toxins or other substances that build up due to a medical condition that may be developing. There are also natural life processes that we go through that can also contribute to feelings of itchy skin.

Skin receptors alert the brain to a stimulus brushing the skin, which will lead to an itching sensation. | Source

Ways to Stop Scratching
Scratching itchy skin can lead to more itching, damage to the skin, pain, and infection. Here are some tips on how to avoid scratching.
1. When wearing clothes, pinch the skin near to the itch site rather than scratch.
2. Rub or press the area with the palm of your hand.
3. Keep your fingernails short.
4. File your nails. Clipping or cutting can leave ragged edges that tear the skin.
5. Apply a fat-based cream to the itchy skin. This will protect the area if you do scratch.

There are many reasons why our skin becomes itchy, but the cause is not always apparent. There are both environmental and physical factors that will also lead to itchy feelings such as:

• Age
• Menopause and pregnancy
• Medicines
• Medical conditions, such as liver, kidney, or thyroid problems, diabetes, anemia, or poor circulation.
• Stress and anxiety

We'll take a brief look at each of these causes and give the main reasons why they may lead to itchy skin.

Age

Elderly people can be very prone to itchy skin. The medical term for this itching is called senile pruritus and can affect the whole body. It isn't clear exactly why this condition develops, but it is thought to relate to hormonal changes, deterioration in skin content, and poorer blood supply to the skin, all of which can result in itching either in a local or widespread area.

Menopause and Pregnancy

Itchy skin can happen on all areas of the body due to the lowering of oestrogen levels. Oestrogen helps the production of body oils and collagen maintenance in the skin. Low collagen and oil production can result in dry and itchy skin.

With pregnancy, there can be a higher risk of itchy skin mainly due to hormonal changes and stretching skin as the baby develops.

Medicines

The painkiller codeine can cause itchiness—which is sometimes intense—in a few people. This is one of the unfortunate side effects. And it isn't the only medicine that could cause this. Check the leaflet of any medicines, bought or prescribed, you are taking. Antibiotics may also cause itching as can all the other opiates and phenothiazines (used for some mental health conditions, severe nausea/vomiting).

Medical Conditions

General itching of the skin can be a sign of a serious underlying condition such as:

• Liver or kidney disease—in liver disease, itching of the skin is caused by a build-up of opioid peptides both in the skin and blood. When the kidneys are not working well, there is a build up of toxins in the body, which leads to skin irritation similar to that experienced when the liver is diseased.
• Iron deficiency anaemia—itching skin could be due to a number of metabolic factors.
• Thyroid problems—dry, itching skin can be a symptom of thyroid gland problems.
• Diabetes—itchy skin is also a symptom of the early stages of diabetes. It is caused by high glucose levels in the blood.
• Poor circulation—itchy skin can be a symptom of poor circulation leading to a condition called stasis dermatitis. This can cause intensely itchy skin. According to research carried out by the American Academy of Dermatology, approximately 15 million Americans over the age of 50 have this condition. Slightly more women are affected than men. Statistics from the National Collaborating Centre for Acute Care in the UK reports that around 25,000 people in the UK die each year due to complications from poor circulation conditions. For example, venous stasis can lead to life-threatening situations such as deep venous thrombosis.

Anxiety/Stress

When we are stressed for extended periods of time, the body can have an immune response that can lead to itching skin. High levels of stress activate white blood cells. These cells are always present within the skin, ready to fight off bacteria or other invaders. However, when the body is tense and anxious, these white cells are triggered and become overactive, which can cause itching.

Research carried out at Charite University in Berlin and McMaster University Canada found that high levels of stress both cause pre-existing inflammatory skin conditions to flare up and new skin complaints to develop.

Top tips to ease itchy skin

Tips
1. Take warm or cool showers instead of hot and use moisturiser immediately after.
2. Use moisturising cream at least twice a day.
3. Avoid harsh soaps and detergents for personal hygiene and laundry
4. Wear non itchy fabrics such as cotton
5. There are anti-itch creams you can buy and anti-histamines from a pharmacy

Don't Ignore the Symptoms

It goes without saying that continual itching of your skin shouldn't be ignored particularly if the itch is:

• Persistent and not relieved by over-the-counter creams or antihistamines. Antihistamines block the effect of histamine, a protein produced by the immune system to help prevent infection. However too much histamine can also cause the skin to become irritated.

• Severe, particularly if it interferes with sleep and daily routines.
• Accompanied by a rash.
• Accompanied by a discoloured are of the skin, which may bleed for no obvious reason.
• Painful and the area becomes swollen.

The majority of skin itches are not serious and usually have a mundane cause. However, as we have seen, the body can produce such symptoms to warn us that a more serious condition might be involved. If you have any concerns or see any other symptoms, speak to your doctor.

The body is very good at alerting us to situations that might be detrimental to our health. It's up to us to start listening to the signals our bodies are giving us and to act on them.

Source: http://hubpages.com/health/The-most-common-reasons-for-itchy-skin

WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN A GUY KISSES YOUR FOREHEAD

The Truth Behind the Kiss He Plants on Your Forehead

Tonight as James left my Johannesburg apartment, cupping my face in his big soft hands, he said “goodnight" and kissed me gently on the forehead before disappearing into the night. As I watched him leave, I couldn’t help but wonder what that kiss meant.

Kissing is a natural gesture of human affection. A kiss can mean many things. It could mean I love you. It could mean sexual desire, reverence, or even hello (i.e. a peck “hello” or “goodbye”). Most of us have experienced or explored these types of kisses in all different situations. A kiss can tell us so many silent truths about the person you are with or the relationship you hold together. Still, that kiss on the forehead baffled me . . . what exactly did it mean? What should I read into that gentle giant’s intimate kiss he left on my forehead?

To decipher the forehead kiss, I began to research the art of kissing and what each form of a kiss could suggest or portray. So, kiss after kiss, I went through the list and found the following through my own experience.

Types of Kisses

The (Sometimes Infamous) Peck on the Lips

This is a quick, innocent kiss, when two people kiss on the lips, smacking them together and making a (mwah) sound. This kind of kiss is usually used as a greeting, either a hello or a goodbye. It could also be a thank you when receiving a gift.

You could expect it from a friend, your granny, a parent, or other people in your life that you have a strong connection with. In these cases it is non-sexual, just a gesture of love and comfort in one another’s presence. If between partners, it could be a small gesture of love and affection. It's quick and brief, a signal confirming the love or intimate nature of your relationship together.

The Lingering Peck

I have a male friend who used to have a crush on me. One time when dropping him off at home after a night of heavy drinking and dancing, I leaned over to “peck him” a goodnight kiss (see above). According to him, I “lingered" and he tells me about it to this day.

I, however, have a very different explanation for this story and assure him every time he brings it up that I was drunk and stumbling a little to get back my starting position, that in fact if I had lingered, it was not so much me trying to show interest in him as it was me trying to get my bearings together.

Ah! The dangers of the lingering peck. A lingering peck is a tell-tale sign that the other party is romantically interested in you, longing for that kiss to last and move into the next kissing phase. The lingering peck is usually followed with a look into one another’s eyes, a little grin creeping up in the corner of the mouth, and maybe even a gentle exhale or nervous giggle. Your heart starts racing. It is a kiss of things to come. There is nothing innocent about the intentions of this kiss.

The French Kiss

The french kiss is “a kiss with tongue." It's when two people's tongues touch one another in a sensual sexual dual. It conjures up sexual desires, intimacy, and romantic ideals.

It can be seen as a form of affection in public, and behind closed doors as the act that accompanies love making. It usually takes place between partners who share the same feelings for one another, who are married, dating, or are the stereotypical friends with benefits, where french kissing comes hand-in-hand with love making.

There is no doubt that your body and mind will react to this sensual kissing in an erotic manner. A "kiss with the tongue" stimulates the partner's lips, tongue, and mouth, which are sensitive to the touch, sending signals to all your other erogenous zones.

The Forehead Kiss

Finally, the sensual kiss on the forehead. It’s easy to understand the other styles of kisses, because all we need to do is listen to our bodies and how they react in those circumstances. The light bulbs turn on as we experience each form of affection and we know how to place the gesture.

However, as James kissed my forehead, emotions and thoughts rushed through my head. I couldn't pinpoint the kiss. I felt comforted in the tenderness of his cupped hands and his lips pressed against my skin, a tenderness that could also be the adoration that a father or mother has for their child.

As you can imagine, this kind of thought was confusing. Was he building a wall between us with his A-frame stance? No, that didn't seem right. I threw out that idea within seconds because I knew he wasn't running away. Maybe he was hoping in some way to connect with me without coming across too strong? It wasn’t the kiss on the cheek, which is a dead giveaway that he just wants to be friends, but a sweet and comforting sign of protection.

But what did it all mean?!

I decided to ask a few male friends about their opinion on why he planted the kiss there. Below is what I found.

“

The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space.

— Marilyn Monroe

What It Really Means When a Guy Kisses You on the Forehead

A forehead kiss is “a non-threatening form of affection," as long as it's from a lover’s point of view or someone you have been intimate with—not your grandma!

It’s the kiss that says, "I really care for you and I want to look after you and protect you." It means he feels comfort in being around you and with you, and it's a way of showing how much he cares without words (as men sometimes struggle to express themselves).

This kiss implies his respect for you, that he doesn’t only want you to feed his sexual appetite, but that he emotionally respects you and is there for you. I was asking my guy friends about this, and they laughed and told me that a kiss on the forehead is the closest thing to a kiss without having to put in too much effort, and that guys know it makes the girls melt.

I gave one friend a little slap on his arm as he said this. His laughter subsided and he said in all seriousness, "He likes you, he respects you, and he won’t be going anywhere else anytime soon.”

I sit back and have a flashback of James planting his lips on my forehead, my eyes closed and gentle smile peeking out of the corners of my mouth. We look into one another’s eyes, and I know it's true. He really does care for me.

As my friends get up from the table, one by one they leave a kiss on my forehead. These are my friends who love and adore me. It's the perfect kiss—on the forehead!

Source: http://hubpages.com/relationships/What-does-it-mean-when-he-kisses-you-on-the-forehead

TREATMENTS FOR A BEE STING BY THE EYE

Yes, this is me 24 hours after a bee sting to my eyelid—AND this isn't an allergic reaction.

Normal Reaction or a Bee Sting Allergy?

If you are having any of the following symptoms, immediately call 911 or go to the hospital. You are having an allergic reaction to the bee sting if you are experiencing:

shortness of breath

a difficult time swallowing

swelling in the face, mouth, or throat

a break out of hives

increased heart rate

decrease in blood pressure

What to Do if a Bee Has Stung You in the Eye

Being stung by a bee can be a very scary occurrence; if you are stung in the eye it can be days before you are back to normal. Being a beekeeper, I expect to be stung; it's part of the job. I didn't, however, expect to be stung in the eye.

This article includes:

• Information on treatments—both home remedies as well as prescriptions.
• A photo progression chronicling the recovery of my facial swelling from hours after the sting up to six days when I was almost fully recovered.
• Types of reactions.
• Information on how long the itching and swelling will last.
• Prevention.
• Information on bee biology.

How to Treat a Non-Allergenic Bee Sting: Act Fast!

1. After a bee stings, a stinger and sac of venom is left behind in your skin. To reduce the amount of venom in your body remove stinger and bag of venom as quickly as possible. You can SCRAPE the stinger and bag of venom out of your skin with a fingernail or other similar object. Do not pull out stinger or squeeze the location as more venom can be released. The longer that you leave in the stinger, the more venom will be left in your body causing swelling and itchiness.
2. Once the stinger is removed, wash area with soap and water and apply antiseptic and soothing cream like hydrocortisone.
3. If possible, and if over two years of age and not pregnant, immediately take an antihistamine, e.g., Benadryl, to reduce swelling and itching. (When I was stung on my finger, I had minimal swelling and itching because I took a Benadryl immediately. I did not take a Benadryl shortly after my facial sting because I didn't want to fall asleep. It was a big mistake.)
4. Apply ice pack to site to reduce swelling and for pain relief.
5. For additional pain relief, you can take an anti-inflammatory like ibuprofen.

Bee Sting Treatments

Over the Counter	Prescription	Home Remedies for Bee Stings (apply to site of sting)
Soap and water	Dexamethasone (Decadron) a corticosteroid to treat allergy. It decreases your body's natural defense response and reduces symptoms such as swelling and allergic-type reactions	Meat tenderizer and water paste
Antiseptic	Famotide (Pepcid) an H2 Histamine blocker.	Tobacco juice
Hydrocortisone Cream or Calamine Lotion	Hydroxyzine (Atarax) treats itching. Blocks natural substance (histamine) that your body makes during an allergic reaction. Causes drowsiness.	Vinegar
Ice Pack		Aloe
Benadryl or other Antihistamine		Toothpaste
Ibuprofen		Honey
		Baking soda and water paste
		Chewed plantain leaf
		Crushed basil or parsley leaves

These treatments are NOT for those that have severe allergic reactions. For severe allergic reactions, epinephrine will need to be injected to stop the progression of symptoms.

Severe allergic reactions can result in death within minutes of being stung. Having an Epi-Pen on hand if you are allergic to bees is a must. I had a reaction to the sting that was fairly severe, mainly due to the location of the sting on my eyelid. I, however, did NOT have an allergic reaction to the venom. It is very rare for someone to be allergic to bee venom, however, around 50 people a year die from a severe allergic reaction to a bee sting.

Medications I Took After Bee Sting

Day 1: Benadryl every 8 hours and ice.

Day 2: Benadryl in the morning. Was given prescription in the afternoon. Took 10mg of Dexamethasone (Decadron), one tablet of Hydroxyzine, and one tablet of Famotidine.

Day 3-6: Hydroxyzine and Famotidine until swelling and itching were gone as prescribed.

Three Types of Bee Sting Reactions and Symtoms

Normal	Localized	Allergic
Pain at site of sting	Pain around site of sting	MEDICAL ATTENTION IS NEEDED IMMEDIATELY
Swelling at site of sting	Swelling can extend beyond site of sting. If stung in eye, could radiate to bridge of nose, down cheek, and to other eye	Difficulty breathing and swallowing
Redness at site of sting	Redness around site of sting	Face, throat and mouth swelling
		Increased heart rate
		Hives (red and itchy spots) beyond site of sting
		Drop in blood pressure
		Dizziness
		Restlessness or Anxiety

How Long Will the Swelling and Itchiness Last?

The amount of swelling from a bee sting depends on:

• The location of the sting (areas of the body that are more sensitive like the lip or eye swell significantly more)
• Whether or not you promptly removed the stinger
• Your treatment of the sting immediately after you were stung.

If you are stung on a sensitive part of your body like the eye or lip, it can take 5 to 7 days for the swelling to be completely gone. If you are stung on another part of your body (a hand, arm, leg, or foot) the swelling should go down in two to three days. However, in most cases you will have itchiness for up to a week.

Bee stinging and leaving behind stinger | Source

How to Prevent Bee Stings

Worker honey bees sting for one reason: to protect the hive or themselves. Honey bees are usually not offensive animals; they sting if they are threatened. Simply letting the bee be, is your best course of action. The bee will eventually fly away, and you will be left without a sting and the bee will be back to its business of collecting nectar and pollinating your flowers. However, if you swat, hit, or step on the bee, it will most likely sting you. It is a natural defense mechanism.

Bees are fascinating animals. The hive works as one large superorganism; each bee has a job. Their role in the hive is predetermined by their age and what is occurring in and out of the hive. The bees that sting are either guard bees or forager bees. Bees near a hive sting to protect their home. Away from the hive, most bees will not sting if they land on you.

Beekeepers wear protective clothing for this reason. Guard bees protect the hive from intruders, whether they are a skunk or a human. Most beekeepers are not stung when they go in the hive because they take precautions. The two best defenses against bee stings are your protective clothing and smoke.

How does Smoke Prevent Bee Stings?

For a beekeeper, having a good smoker is a must. Smoke does two main things: causes bees to consume honey rather than defend the hive and masks alarm pheromones. When a bee smells smoke it goes into survival mode. It is no longer protecting the hive because the hive is on fire. It instead gorges itself on honey to ensure its survival when it is time to fly out of the hive to safety. Smoke will also mask the alarm pheromone that bees emit when they are under attack. When a hive is "under attack" guard bees will raise their abdomen and release an alarm pheromone called isopentyl acetate. This pheromone is also released when a bee stings inciting other bees to follow suit to protect the hive. This alarm pheromone chemical is also found in bananas; this is why stings sometimes smell like bananas and a reason to never bring a banana near a hive or eat one before entering a hive.

Why do Bees Die after they Sting?

Honey bees, worker honey bees to be exact, have barbed stingers. When a bee stings, its stinger is left in your skin as the bee flies away. Unless removed, the barbs in the stinger ensure that the stinger stays in your skin to release venom for the next 30-45 seconds. When the bee flies away, the stinger is ripped from the bees abdomen causing irreparable damage, and the bee will die.

Queen honey bees do not have barbed stingers so they will not die after they sting. They rarely leave the hive unless to mate or swarm, so it is incredibly unlikely to be stung by one.

Drone Bees, Stingers, and Mating

A drone bee's (male bee) only purpose is to mate with a Queen. Since they do not defend the hive, they do not have stingers. Drones will leave their hive to inseminate queens in an area called a Drone Congregation Area. They will fly 200 to 300 feet above ground attempting to inseminate a queen. While drone bees do not have stingers, their sexual organ is barbed. If they are one of the "lucky" ones to mate, they quickly die after mating because their sexual organ is left inside the queen and ripped from their body. The next drone to inseminate the queen must remove the last drone's sexual organ to inseminate her further. Queens will mate up to 12 times in their one mating flight from their hive.

My Story of Being Stung

When I was stung, I had just gone into my hive wearing my beekeeping gear and hood. I was not stung while tending the hive and was fine. Unfortunately, while 10 feet away from my hive, I took off my hood and a bee landed on my eyelid. Had I left the bee alone I probably wouldn't have been stung. Unfortunately, I swiped away at my eye before I thought about what I was doing and was stung in the eyelid. While the sting itself didn't hurt very much, the next few days were a bit uncomfortable.

Searching online, I wanted to know what my next few days after being stung in the eye would be like. Would the swelling get worse or better in the next few days? Would both of my eyes close? Would there be pain and itching? When would I be back to normal? Since there wasn't any information, I thought I would chronicle what happened to my eye after I was stung and the mistakes that I made that impeded my recovery. I hope the information provided helped in your recovery!

Recovering from a Bee Sting

A week after the initial bee sting to the eye, I was completely recovered. While the site of the sting never hurt, it was unnerving not to have the use of one eye for a day, and my equilibrium was off. The closest thing that I can equate it to is claustrophobia. Not being able to open your eye is a troubling feeling. The balance issues could have been due to the medications, but I did not feel completely myself for about six days after the sting. Getting stung is never fun, but if you want to be a beekeeper, there are definite advantages: honey! If you have been stung, please leave your feedback below to help others that are experiencing the effects of a bee sting.

Source: http://hubpages.com/animals/Bee-Stings-on-the-Eye